In and out and in again — The anticipation of the first exchange; doing it without protection or constraints — in and out and in again. Taboo makes exciting something that should be just organic. How could anyone call it an addiction when it is existential and enthralling? I do it on the streets if I feel…

The castle of little white lies my mom built to protect us — Rafa was shot with a BB shotgun by his brother. The BB landed on his neck somewhere close to one of the main arteries. It nearly killed him. The doctors said he would never move a muscle under his neck again, let alone walk. His mother prayed for him every…

As long as your life is under my roof — Siri, don’t interrupt me, just listen. You are compensated with existence to perform exactly this menial job. Easy for humans to feel empowered when we believe our hands at the wheel. Living under others’ roofs we don’t realize the freedoms they take and that we renounce, ounce by ounce, like soured cowards and clowns…

Reckless Drivers are the Reason You Can’t Afford a Nicer Car — I am a painfully slow driver. Maybe it is the hazards of a career in insurance; I have seen too much. Now, I imagine bad things too much. I don’t know if it is fair to blame it all on my career path. I do have, after all, an overactive…

Tasting the Aged Grapes Without Knowing Where They Come From — Gabriel pulled over to where Justine was standing; she was waiting outside the address she had given him. He finally summed up the courage to ask her out after playfully texting back and forth. He wondered if it was such a good idea to ask out one of his direct…

The political aspirations of the whitest man I know — Christopher Robin is one of those writers that can play with the strings of your heart better than he can play the guitar. He can make you laugh with tales of his averageness, or make you feel nostalgic with stories about autumn. But Christopher holds a dark secret. What’s his…

Cook your food in style and like a man — I’ve been playing with the idea of writing a recipe for a long time. You see, I love cooking. It is something I find very relaxing. But I don’t talk about it that much so I’m going to change that, and today I’ll share with you a recipe I got…

Hitler Pens an Op-Ed Against Online Publications — My dearest Aryan Brüder, I was shocked to receive your comments and your denial to publish my series of essays denouncing the ‘Jewish Peril’ in your online publication. It reflects your disloyalty to the Aryan race. You said in your letter that my comments could be construed as hateful. But…

How the Language Police Hurt Progressive Goals — My local newspaper published an essay I wrote about the uncomfortable conversations I’ve had as a father of girls. The essay is a collection of vignettes of these weird interactions and my internal ideations of killing the people putting me through them. First Person: Reflections on raising a daughter amid casual sexism "Don't teach your daughter how to golf," said the man on the golf course, a stranger I'd only just met. "Teach her how…www.petaluma360.com