Boycotting the rainbow and half of the Second Amendment — Say what you want about the LGBTQ community, but we all envy their PR department. The rainbow used to belong to all of us. We could freely draw and color rainbows in our scratchpads without a concern in the world. Now, if our toddlers do it, we must sit next…

Marital advice against spring cleaning — Do you know who the worst person to organize your garage with is? Your spouse. Do you know the only person who wants to organize your garage with you? Your spouse. Spring cleaning your garage with your spouse is a dangerous proposition. There is baggage that comes with it, and…

The simple pleasures of being at home — “I knew you’d appreciate Santa Fe,” my friend from work told me over the hot cocoas we had ordered. These were not your typical instant hot cocoas. They were the type you get at a place that only serves hot cocoas as drinks and has no espresso on the menu. …

Having fun with writing outside of writing — “Write every day, even if it’s just an email.” The published author told the eager group of wannabe novelists and essayists at the Southern California Writers’ Conference. “Fuck emails. Where is my advancement?” It was probably what someone less sophisticated than me thought. Okay, fine, it was me. It wasn’t…

In the rare moments they want to — Almost asleep; stumbling out of the pregnant silence. Their heads heavily rest against your chest. Command your heart; don’t let it dash like a race car nor drums of war, but a silent whisper of crystalline water or a sleepy yawn from the sun. Rhythmic kisses on their heads; your heart…

A dying man’s wisdom — “Son, don’t be sad, but soon I’ll be gone from this world.” The man started laboriously. “I have a family heirloom I want you to have.” The son had patiently been by his father’s side for some time, even though he had turned mean and bitter since his mom died…

Parenting and the illusion of reprieve — “Scientifically handsome” is what most anthropologists might call me. I am not vain because there is no need to be vain when you are, well, as scientists put it (and not me, of course), handsome. So it is easy for me to know I won’t use Rogaine to regrow balding…

The (ca) calamity of 2023 — a most bio-hazardous Valentine’s edition. — “I’d rather die on my feet than live on my knees,” I tell my wife, bent over myself after she reminded me what a poor decision it was to challenge my stomach with a barbecued medium rare 2-lbs bone-in ribeye steak after spending two days in bed with a stomach…

Disaster cleans the slate — The weather starts to change and before you know it, you have no cover; here comes a monsoon of shit. You’ve read about them from the myths, the annals, the fables, the biographies, the novels; from all the philosophers trying to make a name and from Icaruses challenging fate. Everybody…